This poster is SERIOUSLY the scariest thing about this movie and the kid in the film doesn't even look like this!
I picked this film because I really liked the title. I had no idea of its plot. I had read no reviews. Just…the title. I have to begin by saying that there is VERY little here to cling to that’s positive. The set-up is cliché, the characters are stereotypes, the plot (if one can call it that) is ridiculous and unresolved, for a scary movie there is little scary about it. The script is full of ruthlessly horrible lines like, “Wow, what a wicked tree” and “Do you want to ride the baloney pony into pound town?” Yeah, that bad. This is one of the few movies I have ever, EVER sat there literally cheering for the killers to end these characters’ lives. In their defense, it wasn’t the acting. Usually a movie this bad is saved by really horrible acting that makes it more comical to watch, but these poor thespians are sincerely trying their best with the material they’re given.
I'm not a big fan of torture porn, but as I watched this I was praying to the movie gods that these guys really suffer before they die. That way I wouldn't be the only one! Let' do a stereotype roll call here: Nerdy Asian chick? check! Hot Latina sexpot? Check! Homecoming King and Queen (Caucasian of curse)? Check! And last but not least...annoying sex crazed geek pervert with a camera? CHECK AND CHECK! The main problem with this film, in my humble opinion, is that it has no idea what kind of horror movie it wants to be. Is it a Teen Survival flick, a creepy kid movie, or a found footage flick? I’d even settle for a terrors-of-isolation flick. I’m filing this one under the Horror sub-genre Urban Legend. You see there’s this kid who walks up to Alex in the woods (Dweeb with a camera) and says, “I want to play a game.” He gives Alex a little toy soldier and tells him, “This is your guardian. Without it you die. You all die.” Such a nice start, but as the movie moves on this toy soldier really has no meaning. We find out this kid supposedly died a long, long time ago, but there’s really nothing very supernatural about him (he's seriously more scary on the movie poster!). People begin getting picked off one by one with no explanation. There’s some sort of force picking them up and killing them while the boy just stands around looking anything but scary. It’s anything but creepy or scary.
Here’s some movies that have dealt with Urban Legends. Enjoy!
But since I’m putting this down to Urban Legend, let’s talk about what that is, exactly. An Urban Legend is a story that is supposed to be true and that is so popular it’s transmitted orally from person to person. It usually contains elements of the outlandish or the supernatural. The story NEVER happened to the teller. It’s always supposedly a credible source like a friend or someone they knew. Since they are repeated over time, they tend to become embellished.
The “Urban” part is simply a way of saying “Modern”. They are our modern folklore. Not to be confused with Urban Myths…like alligators in the sewers.
RSS Feed
